The Year of the Tiger

A new year, a new blog post. I realize that nothing has drastically changed since my last post except the date that will appear at the bottom of this page. What has changed, however, is my ambition to kick butt this year. The Chinese Zodiac calendar says that the year of the Metal Tiger is going to be an unlucky year for many, and that may be, but I am want to face 2010 head on. My normal reaction to New Years is to turn over, sleep in and let the New Year walk all over me. Well, I just cannot afford to do that any longer. This is the year that I turn 25, the dreaded quarter of a century old, quarter life crisis "I'm almost 30!" freak out year that many have braved over the years and few have enjoyed. Well, it is now my turn to embrace my mid-twenties head on.
I am not really one to pursue heavily set long term goals. In fact, I am, rather, a short term goal whiz! I get a certain satisfaction in crossing off task on my "to do list." I thrive in the attainable "I just finished grocery shopping--go me!" kind of goals and rely on happenstance for the rest of my life. On further reflect, I am not sure if this is the best way to go. Here I am 3 months shy of 25 and have a list of things "I like doing" and not a list of things that "I love doing." So I challenge myself to really take hold of 2010 and find out what I really want out of my life. I know this sounds like the beginning of some sappy "chick-flick" staring Amy Adams, and this is most likely due to the fact that I just finished watching "Julie and Julia" due to post New Years revelry induced insomnia, but I digress...I have been contemplating this for a long time.
Since I have already dedicated this year to National Service, serving the community, the underprivileged and the Nation I feel that I deserve a little time serving myself. For the first time ever I have sat down and made a list of resolutions and I am determined to stick to them...or more realistically most of them. I have 330 some days left of my service term and I intend to make use of every single one of them to; do the best I can at this new, challenging and rewarding job, to improve myself mentally and physically, to enhance my knowledge and skills, to become "healthy" in every sense of the word, to learn to relax, to improve my relationships, to learn to say "NO", to be more assertive, to be more self aware, to be less afraid, to widen my horizons, to be more adventurous, to be more positive, to be more artistic, to ask the ever allusive questions "what do I want?" To actually answer that question.
So in conclusion, I hope when I look back on 2010 I can look back with a better sense of who I am and reflect on my journey to self discovery.

Top 10 reasons why a blizzard in Philadelphia rock!

1. The normally alluring sound of ambulances, cop cars, buses and street cars become just a quiet hum that lolls you to sleep since the snow has made it impossible for vehicles to drive down your street.


2. For about 5hrs the snow is actually white!


3. Snow is the perfect community revitalization program; for weeks after the snow the trash, broken glass and road kill is perfectly concealed under a blanket of white.


4. Your poorly heated apartment feels cozy compared to the 20 degree weather outside.


5. The stray animals find a cozy place inside instead of following you on the sidewalks.


6. The local cafe stays open until 8pm instead of 9pm...not really a plus, but if you brave the 2ft of snow for a peppermint hot chocolate your small order is upgraded to a large...on the house!


7. Instead of waiting for the bus alone a large group of angry commuters gathers together to heckle every bus that passes by until the correct bus finally arrives...30mins late.


8. The large amount of cars getting stuck in the middle of the road allows for creative gambling on which car will be totalled first!


9. You finally have time to watch every B rated movie you wouldn't allow yourself to spend money watching in the theater.


10. The next morning you can skate to work since none of the sidewalks have been cleaned.

The Last Shangrila

One of my many duties as a vista, besides doing all the things that no one else has the time to do, like scheduling meetings, taking notes and making annoying phone calls is to do background research. My hours and hours of research, plus more hours of composing readable text about said research will usually be referenced once within a day long multi partner meeting. I guess the fact that it might get sited at all is somewhat rewarding, but I can't help but feel that my work is somewhat fruitless...

What brought on this blog topic you might ask? My current assignment which I am "heading-up" is the background research to a program which may or may not be funded by a grant which we may or may not receive. It seems in the non-profit world ambiguity is the main theme. Either way it keeps one on their toes...or at least aware that something will probably not happen.

My current ambiguous task is to research the life style of the Bhutanese people. Up until last week I am not entirely sure that I knew the country of Bhutan existed and to my dismay! This country is an anthropologist dream. Bhutan, known to the Bhutanese as "The land of the Thunder dragon" also know to westerners as the literal The Last Shangrila, has been completely isolated from the western world up until about 10 years ago. How on this green earth did a country survive without roads, motor vehicles or the Internet and not fall victim to Darwinism is beyond my comprehension, but power to them! They respect the planet, build everything around the existing foliage, have hydro electric power from the rivers coming off the Himalayans and have limited trading with other countries. However, every gem has its flaw.

This country is crazy and not in the "crazy cool" way either. For centuries they have been ruled by a "benevolent" king who has instilled this edict of a "gross domestic happiness." Yep that is right, since they have no product or any large amount of currency Happiness is their focus. Schools teach reading, writing and the ancient practices of happiness and harmony, in fact something around 50% of the population are monks...including the women! The are totally a self sustaining, traditionally clothed, happy as a lark, zen masters that are...oh wait, ethnically cleansing their country.

So here comes the real reason why I have to research this country. It is not that I get to travel there for some awesome business trip (like that was ever going to happen ;-)) it is that over 100,000 "Bhutanese" are living in refugee camps for the past 20 years, simply because they are bringing the country down with their depression. Well, that might be over simplifying the issue, but to some extent it is true. These 100,000 people are not Buddhist, they are working class Hindus that grow the countries food, they cannot become monks and can no longer receive an educations since their citizenship has been revoked. This scenario seems to be dripping with irony. First off, to evict 100,000 people simply because they are the "grumpy" working class is totally off its rocker. Secondly, they have evicted the only group of people that GROW THE COUNTRY'S FOOD. I am not entirely sure if they thought this plan through, but it seems to me there are many flaws.

Besides the obvious contradictions of faith, essentially firing your only manual laborers and displacing 100,000 of people into the neighboring Nepal and Tibet, (as if they don't have enough to worry about) Bhutan has recently decided to allow the Internet to be installed. They might not have running water or highways, but by god they can stream dancing with the stars at 10mpbs per second. It seems as if this King's priorities are a little out of whack...but I should watch what I say, for all I know the King of Bhutan is ready my blog this very minute!

Nevertheless, I still kind of really want to go there and see if this crackerjack country really exists. I want to climb the mountains to the ethereal monastery, chant with the female monks and then watch the strongest men in the country in an archery competition, all while eating organically grown rice and chillies that have been fed pure mountain water for the tops of the Himalayans. Yes, it sounds fascinating, beautiful and dream like, but everything comes at a cost. For $200 I could travel through the entire country with a personal guide and come face to face or face to denial with the egregious human rights abuses happening in this wonderful country all in the name of happiness, but I guess that is the logic behind any war. I guess, nobody is perfect after all.

Limited Access

I have officially finished my seventh full VISTA work day. Upon racking up a week's "employment" status magical things start to happen. People start to remember your name, or at least part of it, you actually exist within the work e-mail/computer system, and you have an Identification Badge. The mere possession of said ID is suppose to magically grant you limitless access to all parts of TU's campus. However, in my case I have only been granted a "courtesy" ID do to the fact that I am neither being paid by TU or actually paying to attend class. Despite this seemingly lame subtext on my ID it still allows me all access to different parts of campus (not as if before this official "badging" I couldn't get into any building anyway). Either way, I am moving up in the world, well, at least at work. Within the social class system of the United States I have fallen quiet hard into "working class." I know we all kid ourselves into believing that we live in a "classless" society and that with the "American Dream" anyone can move up and down the social ladder, however, just spend a couple hours in the local public assistance office and see if you can we don't.
So, this is where my food stamp story continues. After a week long voicemail harassment on my part to get in contact with "Mr. C" I finally managed to break the silence. At quarter to 1pm on Monday, Mr. C finally answered the phone and in response to my name exclaimed, "OH! YOU!" I guess my harassment at least put a name to my application number in which I have been refereed to for the past month. With a little badgering on his part I had an appointment at noon the next day. I was to bring every form of identification that any legal citizen possesses, receipts that I do in fact pay my bills, have a job, only have one job and secretly do not work in two places at once. I was directed to go to the Liberty District public assistance office in a less than favorable part of North Philly where the excessive queuing rivaled that of the DMV, accept they were a lot less organized. However, since I managed to remember my caseworkers name and time of "appointment" (not to be confused with a meeting) I saw Mr. C within a few minuets. However, after an hour of "mathematical assessment" I was granted the elusive permission to obtain a "EBT" card. To those who do not know, an EBT card stands for Electronic Benefit Transfer which is an electronic system that allows a recipient to authorize transfer of their government benefits from a Federal account. This is not a credit card and can only be accepted at select locations (no such list of these locations seems to exist). However, that was the easy part, after waiting for 2 more hours in the massive waiting room, accompanied by screaming babies and angry people I became aware of just how underfunded this office has become. Apparently, pens are tantamount to that of gold in a public assistant office. My only pen helped fill out several applications since I seemed to be the only person in the entire 4 floor building with a spare writing utensil. In fact, the office workers do not give out pens, there are no cups of sharpened pencils and the constant buzz in the room is to where the only spare pen has gone. I made the mistake of flashing my pen out to take notes and no sooner was it deemed as some weird form of currency. If I played my cards right I could have probably gotten some gum or nice cookies out of the deal, however, this transaction would have to be done on the down lo since eating and drinking is prohibited within the office.
After what seemed like a lifetime of staring off into space I stared to fear for my own health after I had gone 3 hours without water and 5 hours without food. Fortunately, as the 3rd hour came to a close I was called into the secret EBT room where I was handed an "access" card, signed a form and was sent on my way with no other information but a hot line to call if I had any problems accessing my food stamps. I still am not aware of which stores accept these, how much money I can spend at a time, if the amount I have will be a standard amount each month, how I get more money on my card and if I can withdraw cash since it is also called a "debit" card. I have spent countless minutes searching for clear cut "rules and regulations" but all I can find is the generic "this is not a credit card."
I have to wait until tomorrow to use my EBT card since it takes 24hrs to generate that I exist in the system. However, I am excited. I feel that the government owes me some compensation for working for free for a year and oh yeah almost a decades of insane political policy that has led an office to be void of a budget to BUY PENS! But, I digress, after some review my all access pass seems to be quite limited.

In the News: Thanksgiving reflections

After eating as much food to feed 10 of me I am forced to think about people who may have not even had a meal on Thanksgiving let alone two.
Here is just a sample of Thanksgiving weekend news...it will surprise you.

1. Almost half of all U.S. kids will be on food stamps at some time during childhood.
   http://www.chicagotribune.com/health/sns-ap-us-med-children-food-stamps,0,5937791.story
2. In an enduring Thanksgiving tradition here, 30,000 needy people were fed a meal prepared and served by more than 1,800 volunteers. http://thanksgiving-news.newslib.com/story/320-3242399/
3. For other troops in more remote places, "turkey drops" were planned via chinook helicopters... http://thanksgiving-news.newslib.com/story/320-3242431/
4. On a day when many enjoyed the comforts of family and home, the victims of unemployment, foreclosure and even Bernie Madoff lined up at soup kitchens searching for solace and shelter. http://thanksgiving-news.newslib.com/story/320-3242431/

Food Stamps

One of the many "perks" if you will about National service is your fixed income. By living below the poverty line you are therefore not required to pay state taxes, student loans or in some cases food and heating bills i.e. federal assistance. During our pre-service orientation we were all informed that we most likely could qualify for assistance which included food stamps. I found this to be kind of a hidden bonus...I mean if the government wants to give me around $140 a month to eat that is fine by me. However, a lot of people have mixed feelings about this part of National service. Some people, like myself, see it as a great opportunity to learn about the social services system, get free food and not have to dumpster dive. While others see this as a complete embarrassment and even feel resentment that the government is not giving them a 'living wage."
I've had several surprising reactions over the admission that I was applying for food stamps. The most surprising in the supportive reactions from my parents who are just concerned about my survival and would like me to have as many choices as possible and embrace the learning experience. The negative reactions, however, are even more surprising. During Thanksgiving dinner conversation I mentioned to my boyfriend's family about my experience applying for food stamps. My boyfriend suddenly became very embarrassed that I mentioned that I was applying for food stamps in front of his parents and was shocked that I would bring such a thing up over Thanksgiving dinner. This was even more surprising since his parents had such a positive reaction and we even discussed the problems with social serves in PA. However, this is giving me new insight as to how these negative stereotypes about assistance are still alive and well even in generation X and Y.
On the topic of the food stamp application process, this online application was ridiculously complicated to fill out and asked a litany of questions. I was applying online with my fellow friends and VISTA members who all have advanced degrees and it took us hours to fill out and answer each crazy question. This is not to say that people who have been to college are better at filling out forms, but that they have had a large amount of experience fill out forms and answering complicated questions. I can only imagine how hard it is for someone who does not have a college education or who's first language is not English. To them this form must be nearly impossible to complete. Also, the turn around rate is incredibly slow. I received a voice mail from a case worker called "Mr.C" who informed me that I could get emergency food stamps and needed to call him back. That was a week ago. I have been calling everyday leaving messages on his answering machine. I have yet to talk to Mr. C nor do I know if the information I faxed to his office has been received. I am wondering if I will ever hear from Mr. C again! Maybe Mr. C cannot understand my accent as it seems English is not his first language. Also, his answering machine requires that you leave your SS#, case # name and number and he will get back to you in "one business day." Liar! I feel frustrated and at the moment I have food. What if I desperately needed those emergency food stamps to cook Thanksgiving dinner or worse to eat for the week? The funding for Philadelphia social services seems to be in the red and at least for me, not very affective. However, I am thankful that I am fed and housed and not at the mercy of underfunded assistance programs.

A year defending the constitution

When I decided to apply for an Americorps position I knew it was technically a "government" organization, however, being seen as a National Volunteer I did not think I would have to take "the oath." You know, the oath that every government official takes before entering into office, or secret service. It was even more surprising that "the oath," as I like to call it, includes this little dozy, "I, [name], do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic." Um what? My mind quickly jumps to a slue of questions, such as, what enemies? How, on just a three day pre-service training am I expected to stop international espionage?? Well...my question was soon answered as our overly cheery director yelled out, "Who is our domestic enemy?" and the hall answered back "POVERTY!" Well, needless to say I found that rather amusing since all Americorps volunteers are on a set allowance personally making them live IN poverty for one year. So, how am I suppose to defend what I am actually participating in for a year? Maybe it is like being an undercover cop...you have to infiltrate and gain trust of a community and then BAM you arrest them and they never saw you coming. However, not being a cop or having ever been "under cover" this doesn't seem like this plan was well thought out.
Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about the pay, in fact, $10,000 a year is more than I have every made. As a recent graduate from grad school my entire life has been funded by federal grants, loans and the minimum wage, so an actual set amount of money each month, with basic health care seems like a sweet deal to me. Fortunately, I do not own anything so my expenses will be less than someone who has mortgage payments, car payments, credit card debit, children etc. Nevertheless, I still think living in Philadelphia, with the recent tax hike, rise in transportation cost and general costliness of "hipster cafes" and local groceries this is going to be tough. Budgeting my spending and keeping accurate records of bill payments will also be a new experience for me. What will not be that new to me however, is the actual Non-profit work. Since undergrad I have worked/interned with many NGO's/Non-profit organizations before and know the craziness that is the non-profit world. However, this organization is dealing with a population which I am not really familiar...immigrant seniors. I've worked with immigrant women/children who could speak English. Which is pretty much the exact opposite of who I will be working for this year. However, I hope that I gain valuable experience that will make me marketable in the field, network with the non-profits in Philadelphia, and be successful at meeting my goals for my VISTA site. This week marks the rest of my year as a "servant in solidarity."

Peace,